Abundance and Joy
by Maria Talano
I’m 45 years old. I decided at the age of 43 to have a sterilization reversal. I was in the medical field for many years, an ultrasonographer, so I knew all about the terrible side effects of artificial contraception and considered myself “pro-life”, but I was really a cafeteria Catholic. The truth is, after my third child I did not want to have any more and because of “peer support” at work, decided to have a tubal ligation in 1991; I was barely 30 years old. I had justified this decision using “good science”, surely the Church was wrong on this issue, I reasoned. My husband had agreed to it, but I will never forget the deadly silence of my mother-in-law, who is a very faithful Catholic.
I remember the birth of my daughter and what a joyful occasion it was—my sterilization was scheduled to follow immediately—but God in his Mercy allowed me to feel the full weight of this terrible decision almost [immediately] as I was being wheeled out into the OR. I felt, instead of peace, fear. Instead of joy at giving life, darkness and a chill sense of death overcame me. I couldn’t understand why I suddenly felt so cold, so abandoned, so alone.
It would be several long years, in the process of reconversion to my Catholic faith along with my husband. By the grace of God we came to see the terrible error of our ways and repented of it from our hearts. Yet every priest we went to said it was not necessary to have a reversal. Somehow, this never sat well with us even as we practiced periodic abstinence as a way to be more faithful. Finally, a very good priest advised me to investigate—to see if it were reasonable.
I heard about One More Soul on a radio program and kept the number for months before getting the courage to call.
It has now been two years since the reversal. Although we have not yet been blessed with a fourth child, I can’t tell you the difference this decision made in my life. My life literally changed before my eyes. For one thing, my husband and I grew so much closer; our marriage stronger than ever before. We both have become more generous and have seen many blessings in many other areas of our life. One of our children is discerning a vocation to the religious life, another is studying Theology. A relative, who had been very far away, came back into my life and a lot of healing in my family has taken place. Financially, we have been extremely blessed.
If the Lord chooses to send me another child, it will be perhaps the monumental blessing of our life; if not, His will is perfect and we rejoice just the same. I will never regret the reversal. Everyone thought we were crazy, but I also had a lot of support from good friends. I hope that someone reading this will realize that the Holy Father John Paul II’s words, “ Don’t be afraid!” are really true, and make a decision for life.
