Dear Rick: A Personal Letter To My Husband, Lover, And Best Friend

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Dear Rick,

If someone would ask me, “How’s your love-life?” I would say, “Beautiful, Awesome and Wonderful!” But in the past I wasn’t always able to say those words.

When we used contraceptives the first few years of our marriage, I felt an emptiness. Something was missing! I felt used! Remember when I would share with you how I couldn’t feel close to you, but I didn’t know why I felt this way!

We felt an emptiness and wanted to have children. So I stopped taking the birth control pills, but couldn’t conceive. The birth control pills had been a detriment to my physical health and the doctor told us surgery was necessary to resolve the problem they had caused.

Our two beautiful daughters were born within the next two years! We were so happy! We had so much fun and loved them dearly! But then we made the biggest mistake of our lives – you had a vasectomy. All those feelings I had in the past returned – emptiness, loss of closeness and the feeling of being used.

You have always been a wonderful husband – very loving, compassionate, kind, and generous. Why was I feeling like this?

God started to touch our lives through others. A friend we met on a pilgrimage shared with me the evil of contraceptives and sterilization. Her husband was going to have his vasectomy reversed. I never knew the wrong we had done in using contraceptives and being sterilized until then.

You were so open to what I was learning and God was revealing to us. Once we realized the wrong of contraceptives and sterilization, we wished to go to our Lord and express our sorrow for what we had done. We were so thankful the Lord had opened our eyes to the truth and so grateful we could receive the great gift of His healing love and forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

We prayed together and felt led to have the vasectomy reversed.

Even though we had confessed these sins and God had forgiven us, we wanted to rectify our error and be open to life if God so willed to give us more children.

Now I know why our marriage suffered; we had severed ourselves from God and the purpose of God’s plan for marriage. He wants us to cooperate with His plan of creation by being open to life in our marriage.

What a wonderful husband you are by your

acceptance and openness to this new awareness of God’s plan and your willingness to have the vasectomy reversed. That is why I can now say, “Our love-life is Wonderful, Awesome and Beautiful!” Because our marriage is just that – Love & Life – love with an openness to God’s great gift of life. With that openness, God blessed us with the most precious gift – our new beautiful daughter!

Our marriage is better than ever! We have one more soul that God has blessed us with that will spend all eternity with Him! I thank God each day for all our children and especially for you my wonderful husband, lover and best friend, and your courage to do what was pleasing to Him.

All my love,

Your loving wife

Editor’s Notes:

1) Today, children are not always seen as blessings from God. It’s reported that 80% of child-bearing-age couples are contracepting or sterilized. The great contraception and sterilization risks to women and marriage (and, ultimately to Church and society) are rarely reported. At One More Soul we try hard to find and distribute books, pamphlets, tapes and videos that help people understand the truth and wisdom of the Church’s teaching. We encourage you to call our toll free number, 1-800-307-7685, to request a free catalog of our resources and for more information.

2) Many good friends have realized the error of their sterilization and have had a reversal. Roughly, 80% have been delighted by subsequent pregnancies. Peggy Powell informed me of the pregnancy of a couple after both had reversals.

3) Peggy Powell tells John and Karen’s story and two others in “The Hurtful Consequences of Artificial Contraception and Sterilization,” from One More Soul. One More Soul has a list of NFP-only sterilization reversalists, many of whom will reduce their fees for those in need.

4) We have a Directory of over 400 NFP-Only Physicians who do not perform, prescribe, or refer for abortion, contraception, sterilization, or in-vitro fertilization. The cost is $10.00, plus Shipping. You can obtain a copy by calling 1-800-307-7685.

Steve Koob

Director, One More Soul

If you would like more information on sterilization reversals, call One More Soul 1-800-307-7685

For spiritual direction you are encouraged to call a local pastor, or Fr. Dan McCaffrey, STL, in Oklahoma City at 888-637-6383 or 405-755-9091 (home).