From Tragedy to Deeper Love
Dear One more soul,
I am 46 and my husband and I have been married 26 years. We had 5 children the first 6 years we were married and were open to life using the Billings method of NFP. At the birth of our 5th child there were complications. I was delivered 3 weeks early because I was having severe pain in my lower uterus but when I went overnight to the hospital the doctor was not sure what the problem was. After several sonograms all they could guess was that I was having a failure in the lining of my uterus due to 4 other c-sections (classical incision).
We had been warned before our 5th child that I would not make it all the way through a 5th pregnancy. We were young, scared and parents of 4 little ones. We went to our local Catholic Hospital Ethics board and asked them if the Church teaching included an exception to sterilization if the mother could die. (Our consciences were not fully formed on this point obviously). The Catholic hospital approved the sterilization which we thought at the time meant that it was ok with the Church. When the birth was early because the doctor thought I was rupturing we decided to go ahead with the tubal.
It turned out that my pain with my 5th child was caused by a rare virus that is fatal in neonates and our son died 26 days later.
For years after, we wanted to be open to life again even if we had to abstain to avoid pregnancy but priest told us it wasn’t necessary and we shouldn’t go through major surgery to correct the situation especially since doctors we were still consulting at the time (12 years ago) would not do the procedure b/c they felt getting pregnant would be too risky. Finally we found a tubal reversal only this April that has been performed for years as outpatient day surgery. We found an ob who is NFP only in our town and who encouraged us to go through with this procedure and try to conceive again as long as we were willing to live with the risks involved.
July 2nd we had our tubal reversal done and I would highly recommend this doctor in North Carolina. Dr. Gary Berger. It is the only thing he does and I was fully back to normal in 10 days. The cost was about $5500.00. Since I am still ovulating and my FSH levels were within normal range, plenty of tube length left, I hope to be able to conceive within the next 6 months.
Now my husband and I (even though we have a married daughter and 3 other children in their early 20’s) are hoping that God will allow us to have a few more even though at my age it will be a miracle.
For so many years we have struggled to compensate and make reparation for closing ourselves off from that special grace of being totally open to life. No matter what happens, whether we are able to conceive again or not we can look forward to experiencing a deeper love and relationship with our Lord and each other.
God Bless,
Sheri
