Lost and then Found
My name is Kim G. (40) and my husband is Jim (40). We have 6 children, Joseph (19), Krystalyn (18), William (9), Rosie (7), Katherine (4), and Jimmy (2). The Lord in His infinite mercy has taken us on an incredible journey and enlightened us with some of His truths, we couldn’t handle all truth all at one time. He has been patient with us and I would like to share some of our journey and some of the truths for us with you.
The questions we are always asked are ‘Is this the last?’, ‘Aren’t you done yet?’, ‘How can you afford them?’, ‘Do you know what causes that?’ I’ll share the answers to these questions. I was 3 months pregnant when we were married and the baby came 3 months later, 12 weeks early. Joseph’s weight dropped to 1 lb 14 oz after birth and we went through untold struggles and difficulties with him. 6 weeks before his due date, I was pregnant again. I carried this baby almost to term and Krystalyn was extremely healthy. Both Jim and I worked full time. I had my tubes tied because I never wanted any more children from him. Eventually we divorced.
This couldn’t be what life was really all about, so off to California I went with my 2 children, 2 and 3 at the time, to seek my fame and fortune, which I found, so I thought. I had a great job, live-in nanny, rich boyfriends, new car and lived the wild life. Again I found life lacking despite what I thought I wanted. I knew I was a sinner and felt worthless, unloved, and dirty.
On Ash Wednesday, I went to church (we are Catholic.) I was given a card after the gospel reading during church. When you read this, read it as if you were receiving the card yourself. It had a nail attached to it. We have a gift for you-just a simple nail, However, you will never be able to use it for the purpose that it was intended. It will never join two pieces of wood or hold a picture to a wall. During these days of Lent you will find it in your pocket or purse while looking for some change or for your keys. But this nail will never be hammered by you – we don’t think any of us could do it – not with this particular nail. Let this nail, instead, serve as a reminder each time you see it, each time you find it again . . . If you ever doubt your worth or value or doubt that you are loved – hold this nail just for a moment and reflect: GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DIE FOR US! No matter how much you hurt or how much you suffer, you are loved. Do not forget that Jesus was held to the cross not by the nails – but by love.
God had not forgotten me and so began my search for the truth. By Easter Sunday, I found myself in Jack Hayford’s Church on the Way in Van Nuys, CA. I prayed the sinner’s prayer that day. For me it was an exorcism. I told the guy sitting next to me that something was happening and I felt all hot and tingly like something was running through my body. That night, he asked me if my husband would take me back. A few months earlier I had seen my husband when he came to see the children. Jim’s only words to me were: I am still waiting for you. My friend pulled out a Bible and showed me Malachi 3:16 – God hates divorce. I could not believe I had done something God hated. It was bad enough I was a professional sinner but I had also done something God hated. He then took me to I Peter 3:1 and then to I Corinthians 7 – Wives, be submissive unto your husbands as unto the Lord. The only thing my husband wanted from me was what God wanted. That two edge sword pierced me through and through to the depth of my being.
My friend suggested I listen to the Christian radio station. On my way to work then next day I turned on the radio and there it was, a preacher teaching about those very verses. I prayed for mercy and forgiveness and I turned my life over to Him. I could no longer do it my way and wanted His way only. I heard a voice say ‘Go home and get your husband.’ I wrote a letter to my Jim, who called me prior to receiving the letter. This was the only call I ever had from him in 2 years. Home for me was Mobile, AL, so I quit my job, which they offered me $70,000 a year to stay, and moved back there, stopping along the way in Texas to see Jim. We were remarried a few months later and began working to get out of substantial debt. Through the divorce, I took everything, including his paychecks. Daily I read Matthew 6:28-33 – Worry not, God will provide for your needs. We had to learn the differences between wants and needs. I also want to point out that Jim, my wonderful husband, was the one who was Christ-like in his forgiving and accepting me, the prodigal child, back.
I began searching scripture for what true happiness and blessings were. Everywhere I searched it was related to children. Some passages include, Children are a blessing from the Lord, Children are our inheritance, Choose Life that you may live and be blessed and prosperous, etc. See Deuteronomy 28-30 for blessings and curses. I had cursed myself by voluntarily sterilizing myself. Some things God taught us were – you don’t get your rewards until you bring forth fruit, i.e. prosperity and blessings come after children, not before. For us, the most important thing we can ever do is bring forth eternal beings for God. We are his chosen people. We are his army. Now, as always, He wants godly offspring and parents to make the sacrifices necessary to bring forth his most precious gifts. Romans 12:1 – Present your bodies as living sacrifices. By bearing children we are imaging Him through procreation. I Timothy 2:15 – Woman will be saved through having children if she perseveres in faith and love and holiness, with modesty. If you are not growing in your faith and producing fruit, have another baby. The more children I have the more I grow.
In answer to all those questions, Yes, we will continue to have children, and miscarriages. All my babies come 3-4 weeks early and I usually spend the last few months on bed rest. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the Lord. We will take all the blessings and gifts that God sends our way. We will not refuse His inheritance. Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord.
I have additional biblical research if anyone is interested that discusses the Bible and birth control as well as its origins which also influenced our decision to continue having children. Until 1930 all churches condemned all methods of birth control. For us, to maim ourselves, destroy eggs and sperm, and provide a hostile environment in the womb, is not God’s desire. For us, obedience is his desire.
I had my tubal reversed by Christian doctors in Texas. We have had several miscarriages but never refuse any blessing which God has to send to us. Just as He promises in His word, he never gives us more that we can bear. In 1993, after my tubal reversal, William was born in a motor home in a campground in Michigan; that’s where were living at the time, saving to build our home. Rosie and Katherine were born in our log home we built up there, and we home-schooled Joseph and Krystalyn. We now enjoy all the added blessings that come with children: our business is blessed, our home is blessed, our finances are blessed, our health, our family, debt free living, etc. I’ve learned much about my body and it’s cycles. We know each time we conceive and use this for conception, not abstinence for avoidance of pregnancy. By nursing exclusively, our children come 2 to 2.5 years apart naturally and it is a challenge but even more a blessing.
What greater gift can you give your children than siblings? (Matthew 6:20) – Store up treasures in heaven where moths and rust cannot destroy. We pray that we will be blessed with more children before my time ends. I have been diagnosed with Hep C and Autoimmune Hepatitis, a deadly combination. I look forward to meeting my Jesus and my lost children. I want to help others to share the blessings that I have received in having more children. I want to help find other devout Roman Catholic people who want to consecrate their children to the service of the Lord as his holy priests as did Hannah (Samuel’s Mother), Elizabeth (St. John the Baptist’s Mother), and St. Anne (Mary the mother of our Lord’s mother.)
Kim G.
How can there be too many children . . . That is like saying there are too many flowers! –Mother Theresa
