Love & Chastity
Not too long ago I went to my family doctor for a yearly physical wellness exam. A very friendly nurse measured me, weighed me, and took my temperature. She also asked me the regular series of questions for women, such as, “When was your last menstrual period,” and “Is there any chance that you are pregnant?” To the latter question, I answered no. At that point I was a 21-year-old college student who, by God’s grace, was saving my virginity for marriage, trying to live a chaste life, and feeling very strongly about my convictions in this area. The nurse proceeded to ask me, at this point seemingly deviating from the questions on the form, if I was on any kind of birth control. (more…)
By Jen Messing
Let’s be honest.
Movies & TV aren’t the best place to get ideas about how to show physical affection or how relationships should start and progress.
If you want real love, you have to build a real friendship. That means not just looking for physical pleasure or emotional comfort.
If you are interested in defending
your relationship against using each other,
“how far is too far?”
may not be the question to ask.
These ideas can be a solid place to start
or deepen a relationship. Get beyond what the culture tells you is normal—take time to actually get to know yourself and each other
for who you are
and see if you enjoy each other’s company!
True Love. . . How Will I Know? is a talk designed specifically for high school teens. Patty Schneier invites teens to learn the meaning of real love, using four words: Free, Faithful, Total and Fruitful. With Christ as the supreme example, Patty explains how we are called to love one another as Christ loved us, in and through our bodies! True love, the “real thing,” speaks to the deepest desires of our hearts. We want it; we were created for this authentic love. But it is only when we know what true love isand what true love communicatesthat we can recognize a counterfeit. In discussing the many counterfeits that abound in our culture, Patty demonstrates how they pale in comparison with true love. She also shows how they lead directly to abortion and a culture of death. This talk is filled with personal stories and real-life examples. It directly addresses the many pressures that teens face, and equips them with the knowledge and tools needed to withstand these pressures. But most of all, this talk will help teens decide for themselves that the “real thing” is worth the wait! (more…)
Chastity is a virtue that each baptized person is called to live no matter what his or her vocation. Chastity is more about what you are doing than about what you aren’t doing. It is SO MUCH MORE than merely abstaining from sex and remaining a “technical virgin.” Chastity is actually at the heart of a good marriage. So if chastity is lived even after marriage, then it has to be more than just saying NO to sex.
Chastity defined: Chastity is a virtue that directs all our sexual desires, emotions, and attractions toward the dignity of the person and the real meaning of love.
That means that all of our sexual desires, emotions, and attractions to others are supposed to be at the service of the dignity of the other person and the real meaning of love—not at the service of what we want! Chastity is a deep respect and admiration for the person AND for the gifts of our sexuality and sex. As John Paul II puts it, chastity is the readiness to affirm and love the person in every situation. You know what you are saying no to by living chastity, but what are you saying YES to? (more…)
1. Dress in a way appropriate to your dignity. As Crystalina Evert, an awesome chastity speaker puts it, “Don’t walk around sending the message that your body is the best part of you—implying that your heart, mind, and soul aren’t so important. Instead, say with your modesty, ‘I’m worth waiting to see.’”
2. Give the gift of yourself in sex only to your husband. THIS IS A PRECIOUS GIFT that you will never regret saving for marriage, and by waiting you are loving your future spouse even now. The respect you will have for yourself doing so, and the respect that men (both your future husband and any men you will date before him) will have for you will set a strong foundation for a wonderful marriage someday. (more…)
“There is need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work”
- St. Josemaría Escrivá
1. Tell cool, funny jokes, not the kind that would make a pure woman blush—or be offended!
2. Find saints that you relate to and ask them to pray for you as you imitate their virtues. Some awesome real men include St. Joseph, St. Augustine, St. Maximilian Kolbe, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, and St. Josemaría Escrivá. (more…)