Fostering Chastity in Children
One of the fallouts of the sexual revolution has been the integration of boys’ and girls’ education and the resulting loss of the particular training that each gender needs in order to reach proper maturity. This is especially true in regards to their sexual maturity.
To be sexually mature is to be aware and unashamed of one’s sexual desires, comfortably in control of them, and committed to their proper integration. John Paul II called this quality the virtue of self-mastery. In this life we either learn to master our desires according to reason and thus foster freedom and happiness; or they master us, and we become their miserable slaves.
At an early age boys begin to experience temptations against chastity. Should they lose the ability to resist such temptations, they will also lose the ability to develop a meaningful, open and loving relationship with their future spouse.
In a similar way young girls are generally tempted to immodest use of their bodies as a means to attract the attention of boys. Not only do such means attract the wrong type of attention, they can also completely prevent such young women from attracting the authentic caring and respectful attention their hearts truly desire.
Now these realities should be common sense to just about any adult, but unfortunately we no longer live in a commonsense world. If parents do not recognize the difficulties to acquiring sexual maturity, and assist their children in overcoming these difficulties, they are seriously jeopardizing their children’s potential for happiness and eternal salvation.
A boy needs to develop an open and supportive relationship with his father and be taught by him to respect and love his mother. Dad needs to keep an open mind to his son’s interests and encourage him wherever his talents lie so that he gets a natural sense of accomplishment and joy in the world around him.
A father’s love is just as important for a girl. A girl who feels loved and accepted by her father will not seek inappropriate attention from a boyfriend. A father should keep his criticism to a minimum and never feel that his daughter is too old for his warm embrace.
Images from television, computer games, and movies have a deep impact on the imagination and formation of young minds. It is not puritanical to turn one’s eyes from any scene that is designed to arouse sexual desire. A parent’s confident and measured explanation of why something is inappropriate or sinful will usually leave a profound impression on a child, especially when such explanations are given in the context of God’s loving plan and His desire for our happiness.
The best tool for fostering chastity, and all the virtues, is prayer and the sacraments. Jesus demands absolute chastity from us because he has given us from His sacrifice on the cross the grace to master our desires and discover the joy of true freedom and love. Daily prayer, weekly Mass and monthly confession will be a child’s greatest asset in resisting the temptations which serve to destroy his or her peace and potential for true love.
There is no reason to be anxious. Those parents who have developed their own relationship with Christ and are concretely following the precepts of marital chastity will have the wisdom and natural means to foster and encourage the development of sexual maturity in their children.
Fr. Eric Nielsen is a priest residing in Wisconsin.
A Case For Chastity
A lively and involving presentation supporting teen chastity, with many personal stories.
